last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
