So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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