Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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