Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
