I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
