my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Randomize
