I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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