Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
