I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i now understand why vodka
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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