i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
