so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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