Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
