margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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