Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
