I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
