I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it was like eating out sand paper
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
