in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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