I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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