She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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