Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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