His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
