it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
