Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he fucked my hip out of place.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize