the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
