Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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