i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I checked into jail on foursquare
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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