Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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