Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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