I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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