What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
