The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize