It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
