How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
