these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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