I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
