i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
