FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
