Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
