I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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