You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
