I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
