Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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