I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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