I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
