I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
