we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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