omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
