im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
