Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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