I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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