Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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