Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
