Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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