I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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