Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
