I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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