For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
