I just saw a hot homeless man
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
