I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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