Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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