Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize