You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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