Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize