Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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