I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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