I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize