turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
