I think I won the penis lottery.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
