She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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