You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
