glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
