i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
