Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
