I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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