i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
