i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
