My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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