I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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